How to Lose Your Customers, Decrease Your Sales, and Make Them Not Come Back Anymore

Here’s a nice tip for my fellow freelancers: “How to lose your customers, decrease your sales, and make them not come back anymore!” Trust me, this stuff is proven to work! You don’t even have to pay me for this advice (unless you want to)! Once you apply these tips, you’ll be making no money for many more years to come! Combine this method with forum ethics like outlined here and you’ll be amazed at the outcome!

If you are a starving freelancer and would like to decrease your sales and lose your clients even more, here are sure-fire ways to do just that. Memorize these tips like the back of your hand and you will lose your existing clients and potential customers in no time… in the next few minutes… within the hour… on in the next few days. Trust me, this stuff works or I wouldn’t be telling you about it!

Don’t respond to your customer’s emails - If a customer or a client contacts you via email, don’t respond in a timely manner. Just leave the message there unanswered, especially if the client has questions and need support, or if the client requests a new project from you, among other types of messages. This is your business, so you can take as much time as you want. You don’t even have to answer emails if you don’t want to. Who cares if the ethical response times are within 1-2 days, or immediately, if possible?? This is your decision to make alone.
Don’t address the specific problem. When a customer asks you for a specific question regarding a product you have or the services you provide, use a template, cut-and-paste, one-size-fits-all, standard, automated, response that may somewhat cover that question or has keywords related to that question. Don’t address the customer’s specific needs. Who has the time to do that when you already have premade responses to send out?
Be rude when a customer is rude. When a customer starts yelling, calling you vulgar names, and other unprofessional behaviors, why put up with it?! Yell back, call them names and other bad words! Damn them to hell, including their family members. Remaining calm and in control is NOT the best method to handle such situations.

Now that you’ve learned some valuable lessons in customer service, apply them and you won’t have any customers for many years to come. Cheers!!