JOB OFFER: Reader’s Digest is Looking for Funny Writers!
Reader’s Digest’s Humor Department needs YOU to make us laugh! And we pay big bucks for the stories you send in. Hit rd.com/joke to submit your original material to one of these five hilarious sections. You might get $100-$300 richer!
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At Work: Office Space was made for a reason.
Life: Funny things happen when you’re not on the job.
Off Base: In the army now?
Quotes: One-liners from famous, contemporary people.
Laugh!: Jokes and one-liners go here.
Quotes and Laugh! score $100; Life, Off Base and At Work earn a cool $300. Not bad, eh?
You can also mail funny items clipped from other sources to:
Humor
Reader’s Digest, Box 100
Pleasantville, NY 10572-10100
Or email: laugh@rd.com
ABOUT READER’S DIGEST: This is a general-interest family magazine which offers a variety of reading. Its articles and stories cover a range of subjects including health, ecology, government, international affairs, sports, travel, science, business, education and humor.
24 Responses to “JOB OFFER: Reader’s Digest is Looking for Funny Writers!”
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For a quick laugh: My nephew Nickolas was in Kindergardin. Nickolas had not yet learned to tie his shoes. One day the teacher called Nickolas up to her and asked him why he could not tie his shoes. His reply was, Can you fly an airplane?
Needless to say my sister was called to school the next day for a parent teacher conference.
Whoa!
Thanks for sharing! You should submit this story. You never know, it may pass and you can get paid for it!
my husbanddrives a school bus the kids are forever telling him funny jokes.and of course he tells them to me.this one i find very cute why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine.
hahaha! Kids really do say the cutest things…
That one’s actually a smart joke
Our seven year old great grandson, Kolten, is his dad Kent’s shadow. Kent owns a landscape business and the other day while in the equipment garage, one of the workers asked Kent why he had not received a raise. Kolten, who was tying his shoe at the time, looked up at the young man and said, “If you’d get to work on time and not an hour late, you’d get a raise.” Out of the mouths of babes.
Having a 16 teen driver is enough to put any parent on Valium. Being a parent of two teenagers means no sleep for the duration of high school. Well do I have a story for you of my 16 son and a black V4 Mustang? I felt like my home had turned into swinging doors, like the ones at the circus, you go in and out but one really doesn’t know if you are out or in. He would start to go in a door and I was ready to go out another, circling around the home, sneaking to reach that elusive black Mustang. What I had in my hands was a night’s sleep, steering wheel locking device; this is the only thing that would stop that black Mustang.
Frustrated about the increase on my rarely used cellphone, I called to inquire about all the suddenly significantly increased surcharges. I was told by customer service ” to contact my local office of congress to complain.” Later I received a
call in response to my letter of inquiry. They explained that it was probably increased because this is a “new physical year.”
I am the author of 53 published books of humor. With sales over 12,000,000 copies The New York Times calls me “America’s Best-Selling Humorist.”
How may I submit one of my books, “Treasury of Laughter”
which contains over 1000 jokes, one liners and funny stories for you to have a great selection to choose from?
Please advise. Thank you!
If you are referring to Reader’s Digest, try this email: laugh@rd.com
For seven and half years, lve worked alongside President Reagan. We’ve had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We’ve had some sex…uh..setbacks. – George Bush Snr
“President -elect Barack Obama spent the day thanking the people who helped him win the election. Yeah, and actually, Obama’s first phone was to Sarah Palin, he sent her flowers. – Conan O’Brien
Can supply quotes and jokes from research on the net.
Hope you consider me for a post.
I was changing my newborn granddaughter’s diaper,and putting oil on the cord (which hadnot fallen off yet),when my 5year old daughter came in and said!I thought you said it was a girl!
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
MY WIFE DIDN’T KNOW THAT I DRANK UNTILL I CAME HOME SOBER ONE NIGHT.
My 4 year old son, Tye, asked me about our 2 giant schnauzer dogs: “Mommy, are Link and Gabby married?” I said, “Yes.” (since they had babies and they are NOT related). Tye says, “Well, they never kiss.” I said, “Yes, they do. Link licks her all the time.” He says, “Does Link got a job that he goes to?” After a little thought, I replied, “Yes, he is into landscaping and lawn fertilizing.”
this is just for quick laugh, there is a competition if who got the strongest nose for bad odor.
announcer: our 1st contestand is from japan!
the crowd is screaming and cant wait so japan came out and went to the goat coral which it has a 100 of male goats and they didnt clean it for a month.so he went in then came out after 5 minutes, and the crowd is clapping their hands and empress.so the announcer called the next contestant.
announcer: our next is from australia!
he went in and then came out after 10 minutes and the crowd is so empress, the announcer called the 3rd contestant, from america, so he went in and came out after 15 minutes and every one is so impress and they cant belive it, but the announcer said wait, there is one more contestant, and he is from india! so he went in and after 1 minute all the goats coming out in a hurry dizzy, and some of them past out!
one day we ask my 3 1/2 year old son if what is he going to do after his kinder garden graduation,and he reply seriously while he is trying to fix his toy car and he said ” well im gonna get a good job then get married and have a lot of kids!”
in the philippines ita a tradition that if you are a man and like a woman you have to go visit her at their house at night time and ask her parents permission before she become your fiance.so here a story:
pedro:good evening sir, mam im here to ask your permission to visit maria?
parents: good evening to you too pedro, you are a good guy so you have our permission!
then they called maria and she came out.
maria: good evening pedro come in and have a sit.
while her parents is in the kitchen.
so after and hour pedro is leaving;
pedro: thank you sir mam
parents: you are welcome pedro good night and lord be with you>
all of the sudden pedro stumble down the stairs,embarass and said.
pedro: well thank you sir, mam for giving me an escort but can you please tell lord not to push me again!
Well Ms Jasmine, our jokes on Indians and Philippines stand in bad taste.
Well Ms Jasmine, your jokes on Indians and Philippines stand in bad taste.
Humorous true story….
Ed and I had an awesome Sunday afternoon floating around Matanzas Inlet on a way-too-small-for-two raft. It was balmy,
idyllic and peaceful with frolicking dolphins, gliding pelicans, and patient fishermen – almost perfect in every way. We had
drifted out past the sandbar and were being pulled by a gentle current safely away from the inlet, but a good distance out
and far from our blanket and dependable Army Green $59 ‘instant set-up’ canopy from Home Depot! Thank goodness for
that canopy because it made such a perfect landmark and we periodically admired it as we drifted away! Eventually, when
we finally decided to head back, Ed noticed way off on the distant shore our lovely little canopy was dancing along the sand
and then flipping over into the water! It was floating away upside down like some strange water craft with its four legs up in
the air! Immediately our leisure doggy paddle turned into a splashing panic as we frantically tried to get to shore! You know
the feeling when your beach umbrella suddenly uproots and flies away, or worse, collides into some unsuspecting
sunbathers…Well this thing is about the size of four umbrellas and stronger, and it’s certainly not supposed to fly away in
the wind! Feeling helpless, and hoping it wouldn’t float out to sea, we watched in relief as some helpful soul caught up to it
and was wrestling it back to the sand! Thank you Lord for Good Samaritans! After thanking her (yes, it was a woman!) for
the rescue, Ed and I tried to enjoy the beautiful sunset as we dismantled our rebellious canopy. The durable powder coated
steel legs were all mangled, and had to be broken off since they no longer telescoped back like they did during the
‘easy-set-up’! The first leg came off after only about 15 minutes of pulling and twisting, and then in the glow of the fading
sunlight, Ed enthusiastically used it as a hammer to hack off the other three!! Collapsing the framework when the legs are
mangled is not mentioned anywhere in the directions, and so if anyone does purchase one of these things, make sure you bring a hack
saw, screw drivers and maybe a hammer and flashlight along to the beach with you, just in case….
One day my little brother came to my mom and said,”I’ve a problem.” “What’s the problem son?”my mother asked, concerned. My brother said,”The hot milk that I drank is cooking the eggplant!”
Once a non-native science teacher entered the class and wanted to teach Pollination to school students in an interesting manner. “Have you seen buffaloes?” “Yes Sir!” replied the students in unison. “They are of many colors. Yellow! Blue! Green! They can fly! They have wings! They sit on flower after another and fly around! Have you not seen?” The children looked at one another and cried out, “No Sir!” The teacher realized that something is wrong. He looked at the lesson plan and rectified his mistake. “Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I was talking about butterflies which help the plants in pollination. The students had the heartiest laugh!
Once our Rector was talking to all teachers about Staff Benevolent Fund. There were some lady teachers were also there. One of the teachers asked, “In case of our need, with whom should we do the intercourse?” The lady teachers didn’t know which way to look!
I am shakil ahmad kusmi C.G.